Google cuts ChromeOS support promise from ten years to eight as Googlebook replaces Chromebook: the jokes

“Ten years, eight years, it's basically a decade if you round with real optimism.”

“Eight is just what ten becomes once we've had some time to think about it.”

“We cut Chromebook support to eight years, which by Google standards is basically immortality.”

“Give bad news a friendly, helpful title and nobody will ever click on it.”

“Googlebook is one week old and already cut two years off Chromebook's life, they grow up so fast.”

“Barely a week on sale and Googlebook's already shortening its big brother's lifespan, that's my boy.”

“I'd retire Chromebooks today if their replacement could survive one fourth-grade classroom.”

“We built the Chromebook's replacement and somehow forgot schools are the only people who buy Chromebooks.”

“Chromebooks only get to keep living because our shiny new laptop can't handle a third grader.”

“Ten years of Chromebook updates was a ballpark figure, and we've decided the ballpark is smaller.”

“Eight years of Chromebook support is longer than most of our chat apps lived, people should send flowers.”

“We announced two fewer years of Chromebook updates on a support page, the safest hiding spot on the internet.”

“We wrote 'through mid-2034' instead of 'eight years' because nobody does subtraction on a support page.”

“Mid-2034 sounds like forever, and forever sounds a lot longer than ten years.”