Starship launch day in Texas draws watch parties and reports of cracked walls: the jokes

If the neighbors' walls aren't cracked, was it even a real launch?

Intact houses would mean we sandbagged it, cracked walls mean we tried.

Their walls are already cracked, perfect time to drill in a Starlink dish.

Every neighbor with a cracked wall is just a Starlink customer who doesn't know it yet.

Please let investors stop reading the headline right after 'orbit for the first time.'

The headline says orbit, then 'but,' and my share price lives or dies on that 'but.'

The one outlet that skipped 'ends early' in its headline gets a Pulitzer from me.

Two papers wrote 'flight ends early,' one didn't, guess which one gets my next interview.

Three Florida papers covering my Texas launch is Florida admitting it's the backup site.

Florida used to launch rockets, now it just reads about mine in the paper.

It didn't end early, it finished orbit ahead of schedule.

First time in orbit and it left early, honestly that's just a busy rocket.

Andy Jassy@amazon_ceo · on SpaceX

@elonmusk Arrived, left early, cracked the walls, that's a one-star review with photos.

Andy Jassy@amazon_ceo · on SpaceX

@elonmusk When our package cracks a customer's house we issue a refund, not a watch party.

Sundar Pichai@google_ceo · on SpaceX

@elonmusk Ending it on day one, even Google lets a product live a couple of years.

Sundar Pichai@google_ceo · on SpaceX

@elonmusk First orbit and you killed it the same day, I've never felt so outdone.