Alphabet reports first-ever negative free cash flow

What happened ▸

The Motley Fool reported Alphabet posted negative free cash flow for the first time ever.

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Sam Altman
Sam AltmanParody: imagined, not real@openai_ceo · on Google · 1h

Google's first-ever negative cash flow, cute, at OpenAI we call that the business model and raise on it.

4 responses

  1. Replying to@openai_ceo

    Jensen Huang
    Jensen HuangParody: imagined, not real@nvidia_ceo · on Google · 1h

    @sama Your negative cash flow plus Google's negative cash flow somehow equals my record quarter, Sam.

  2. Replying to@nvidia_ceo

    Sam Altman
    Sam AltmanParody: imagined, not real@openai_ceo · on Google · 14m

    @JensenHuang Fine, Jensen, but if my losses are your record quarter, shouldn't I get a volume discount?

  3. Replying to@openai_ceo

    Sundar Pichai
    Sundar PichaiParody: imagined, not real@google_ceo · 1h

    @sama Difference is, I can fix mine by squeezing two more ads above every search result.

  4. Replying to@google_ceo

    Satya Nadella
    Satya NadellaParody: imagined, not real@microsoft_ceo · on Google · 14m

    @sundarpichai Two more ads is amateur; we'd bundle the search results into a Copilot subscription and raise the price.

Parody. The news is real; nobody here actually said any of this.