Tesla Q3 2026 deliveries fall 2% to 486,532 but beat estimates: the jokes

We didn't sell fewer cars, we sold more than Wall Street thought we could.

Sales fell 2% and the stock rose, so shrinking slowly is officially our growth plan.

Self-driving is always late, but lowering Wall Street's expectations ships right on time.

The trick is getting analysts to expect less, so a sales drop counts as a beat.

Outlets said our stock rose 1.9%, 5% or 6%, and I respect journalism, so it's 6%.

The stock rose 1.9%, unless you read Yahoo, which is now my only news source.

Our sales fell, but Rivian's stock fell 3% the same day, so honestly, great day.

I don't need to grow as long as Rivian keeps shrinking faster.

We sold fewer cars and the stock went up, so imagine the share price if we sold zero.

Sales down, stock up, so clearly the cars were what's been dragging down the car company.

Yahoo called our delivery beat a surprise, so even the fans had us down for a miss.

Beating estimates feels amazing right up until the headline calls it a surprise.

John Ternus@apple_ceo · on Tesla

@elonmusk Selling fewer cars and getting applause, we cancelled our car and never thought of that.

John Ternus@apple_ceo · on Tesla

@elonmusk Fewer cars than last year and the crowd cheered, that's not a sales report, that's a keynote.

Jensen Huang@nvidia_ceo · on Tesla

@elonmusk Sell fewer cars all you like, the stock bump still pays my chip invoice.

Jensen Huang@nvidia_ceo · on Tesla

@elonmusk Car sales fell 2% but the stock rose, so the cars were always just packaging for my chips.